This reminds me of what someone, who knows the struggle we had with our daughter for so long, said to us this past week. This person has seen the progress she's made in the last few years, and now is witnessing even more progress in the last year. I've had to train her differently in the past, and it was difficult. When she realized that I trained her differently and questioned me about it, I explained truthfully why that was. But, oh how I have struggled to not train each child exactly the same. Each person is different and many must learn differently. Our strengths, weaknesses, pasts all shape how we will accept changes. She understood and even agreed that the reason was legitimate. These days she's such a relaxed, cheerful, and loving child each and every day. Her inner struggle has come to rest...for now. The battle that she so often had with the enemy ( a very real one so often in the nighttime hours but sometimes throughout the day) to get her, is one that she and I are now well acquainted with and equipped to win. We've resisted the devil, and he's now on the run. Who wouldn't want to adopt a child and see this kind of freedom and redemption in them. Boy, does this excite me! This person who was mentioning the progress that's been made through the years, said to me, "She's free. Isn't she!" Even when one adopts an infant, which is why I wanted to share this, there is still a struggle of some sort that the parents will need to help their child with. Lili was adopted as an infant. I was there before she was born and had her just moments after her birth. Even so, there is a struggle at some point for those adopted at birth...maybe at several points, like for us. It is written in 1 Peter 5:8:
"Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour."
The enemy is seeking to devour any of us that he can. For us, the enemy came in with sins and weaknesses from her biological family. Sins and weaknesses of which we were unaware, but by the grace of the Almighty, He granted us discernment and wisdom along the way to recognize them and battle them for and with our daughter. The struggle was tough in the midst of the storm, but I'm so in amazement on this side of things. God is good.
I sure do feel awkward talking about a spiritual battle. It has occurred to me that there may be many comments or emails about this blog that won't necessarily be encouraging. Still, for those who will hear me and who are adopting, it's worth it. Keep going, keep battling. There's a free child on the other side of that battle. To be honest with you, there's a freer YOU on the other side of that battle. A YOU who is much more equipped for what God has for you in your story.
For us, our story included the adoption of 5 more blessings who came into our family with sins and weaknesses from their biological family and from orphanage life. They came into our family with hurts and pain and fears from all the areas that we had learned about as foster parents, from all those classes we took, from the books and articles we read, from the stories we'd heard from other families who had adopted older children. They have been through it all. This time around, the battle was not nearly as tough to fight, even though the storm was much more severe and even though the storm, though less severe these days, is likely to continue as we seek freedom and healing in our children. We know how to battle and battle well. We screw it up sometimes, and the enemy slithers in. However, we are quick to get back on our feet and move forward.
While at one point I asked God "Why?" Today I am very much aware of "Why." Romans 8:28 says,
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."
He was working for all of our good. I'm just so grateful and pleased with this life I get to live, for the work the Lord has done in our lives and is continuing to do in all of us.
As I look at my Lili holding and caring for our latest addition to our family, I am reminded how far we have come together in the last 7 years, how we have learned to battle this lion who seeks to devour us, devour my child, devour our relationship, devour my witness...though he has utterly failed. There are many battles that we wouldn't have picked to journey through, but those same difficult journeys have become some of my greatest treasures in life.
I pray the same for you, dear reader. May your most difficult journeys in life become your greatest treasures.