These days I'm even more reluctant to take medicine because this March marks 7 years since our cancer journey. Seven years ago, I walked in to have an ultrasound to learn the gender of our baby, only to walk out with another appointment for an ultrasound for a tumor they'd found. In March of that year, I was diagnosed with stage 2 Lymphoma, but they'd never had a case like mine. I was in the middle of a pregnancy, and my OB had warned the doctors that I would not consider harming my baby girl. During the wait for our daughter to be born, the cancer grew to stage 3. She's 6 now and as healthy as they come. During treatment, I lost the feeling in the tips of my fingers, my thyroid doesn't work, and I have scars on my lungs and spleen. Hence the reason I'm even more reluctant to medication. While there's some good that medicines do, there's also some bad that I live with each day. But, I wouldn't change it, as I know why these lingering affects are a part of my life. It's so easy to forget our journey with God through cancer. But, He was so good and faithful during that time, and I should never forget or push it to the back corners of my memory. That faithfulness is how I know that I can trust God to never leave us or forsake us on any path to which He sends us.
Anyway, last night I caved and just took some allergy medicine. I'm thankful to have a working nose, eyes that don't feel so tired and itchy right now. Last year we started volunteering in Orphan Care Alliance Families, where we love on kids whose mother or father has reached a point in their life where they are asking for help. You can click on the link above for more information. It's a way to eliminate the need for the states foster system and allow moms and dads who do not have the support they need, to voluntarily ask for help. For the past few months, we have cared for a little boy who made great strides in our home. And, he went home to his mom last Friday. It's good that he went home. Still, we are hurting. I'm hurting. And, I need to be here to help my 10 children navigate this hurt too, in their own ways. Our little Sam, who is just 2 weeks older than this little boy we love, is struggling too. He's upset. He keeps running off into corners to cry. I go to him, and he buries his little head in my neck and takes deep breaths. He can't tell me that his heart hurts for his little buddy that isn't here. But, I see it in the way he's been acting since he woke up from his nap last Friday and his buddy was gone. So, you see why I needed those itchy eyes gone and my nose to work. I need to be at my best, or the best I can be, today and tomorrow and so on.
As I was breathing this morning - you know, with my NOSE! - and feeling grateful to be able to use my nose, I was talking to God and sorting out the feelings I've been having since our little buddy left. While he was here, I focused on the kids and some projects we are doing. Now that he's gone, reality set in, and I have had to face my emotions about March. March signifies a huge faith journey for me. I had to hand over my greatest fear - cancer - and my fourth child over to God in March of 2010. I had to face the fact that I would lose a lot, but in March of 2017, I had no idea that down that long journey ahead I would find immense treasures, some that I can explain, and some that words just can't express.
I find it interesting that I'm starting a new journey in writing a book on the 7th anniversary of this great journey.
Thanks for reading.