When we were going through the foster parent training, we were told that if we chose to foster and/or adopt a child that wasn't our race, then we would forever be known as the "black family" in any neighborhood we moved in to- their words, not mine. For those who know us, we're a mixture of races already, and race has never been something that defined us in a negative way. But what they said at that foster parent training has always stuck with me because I believe that adoption isn't just us making them a part of our family, but it's us taking on their "race" or "identity" as well. I think of God, coming down, without any sin, then paying a huge price of redemption, taking on our "sin identity" for us, and working in and through our lives as He redeems as only He can.
I read about some of the turmoil going on in the country that is soon to be a part of our family's identity, and bits of fear entered. Not fear for our lives, but fear for if our adoption will be jeopardized. For so long I have wondered why God has sent us to this country. I thought we would adopt from Africa or the States, but as I see the unrest of this country we are about to enter, I sense that God has something planned of which I am unaware.
Given the filth of my sin, which I know God has cleansed me from, I'm just so grateful that He would use a once broken, or quite shattered, individual as I was, to offer hope to others. So, as we adopt, we will be God's instruments of redemption in the lives of our 9 children, and I know God will use their lives to further redeem us. As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
And - we wait. We wait to bring home our 5. We wait in anticipation of the great things to come. As I sat in the stillness of my home, I had time to think about how hard waiting is, how it's ripping my heart out, how I just have to stay busy to keep my mind off of the waiting...waiting...waiting to see my babies on the other side of the ocean. Then, I felt God near me, almost like He walked up by my side, and said, "This is how I feel."
Many years ago, God walked with Adam, but then the human race fell prey to sin. So, God sent His son to redeem us, as He longed to be near His creation once more. The battle rages on within each of us as to what we will choose - will we choose to walk with God? If so, how far? Will we choose to take risks to be even closer to Him? Or, will we choose the temporary comforts to fill in that void? God came to create the world from an empty void, and He waits to create something in each of our voids. The question is not whether He can use us, but rather, will we let Him create something new and beautiful in and through us? Will we choose to draw near to Him? Will we choose whatever risks may come in hopes of a closer relationship with our God, our Redeemer, our Hope? If we do, if we draw near to Him, He assures us that He will draw near to us.
God has a heavy longing to be near us, to walk with us. But, He is waiting for us to make a choice. From my own experience, I can tell you that God is. He is what we need, what we desire, what we long for, what we hope for. He is love. He is life. He is "I AM."
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