I'm sitting here with tear filled eyes reading about a woman who is living her last moments due to cancer. God's peace is surrounding her. Her husband and children are with her. And they take each moment as it comes and make the most of it. Time is used to spend with each other. Not one second is taken for granted.
I remember when the moments were precious, when death had lost it's sting, and when I realized my days were numbered. One would think there'd be fear filling those last moments, but that's not what I recall. I just remember the peace and the joy lived in those moments. As the diagnosis gets farther into history, life goes on. I rush. The playful moments get put on hold...for tomorrow. I forget that I'm only promised this moment that I'm in, and I forget that I need to make the very most of this moment. The dirt can wait. The disorder can stay. But, what is ever so fleeting is the moments with my family, the moments living this life I've been given. My heart is heavy - Partly because there's a young woman living her last days, knowing she's about to leave her precious husband and girls behind and partly because I've been there, yet I've forgotten how to live in the moment. Fear of death creeps in. The rush of the American life takes over....and life has become difficult again.
Thankfully God offers many do overs. And, I think I'm at one now.
While my heart is heavy, it's one of those "good" heavy hearted times. Time to try again and truly live in each moment of this amazingly precious life.