Today we did school in a hurry and began the much anticipated preparation for the meal we were going to share with another family. We had it on our calendar for a while, and the kids were so excited that TODAY was the day we got to make and deliver food for a family who needed it. We got to work - all of us. It was a beautiful site in the kitchen - some stirring, some cutting bread, some cooking noodles, some baking a cake, some cleaning up dishes, some preparing pans for the anticipated cake, and so on. Everyone was busy. Finally we were done and enjoyed some of what we had made. Once we were finished, we all hopped in the van to deliver our gift of love.
Once there, the kids played outside while this momma and I talked. Sometimes meeting other parents and families can bring out some strange and often unwanted behaviors in our newly adopted children, so I was on guard for that. It didn't happen. But my children who stress like I do over the plan for the day asked what we were doing next. I had made plans but wasn't sure it would happen. So, I put off telling them. Once I had confirmed it would happen, I made the announcement, and we headed to Mammoo and Pappaw's house for pizza.
We don't often go to people's homes because, sadly, it often (but not always) brings out weird behaviors in our newer 5 children. In the last 6 months of having our newest children, we have only been to my parent's house twice (and tonight was that second trip). I wasn't sure I could relax because of the need to watch my children and be aware of their every move (just to be sure they didn't get into something they shouldn't or something that could be harmful for them). When we first adopted them and were in an apartment in Ukraine, they got under a cabinet, found some vinegar, and drank it all. I didn't know it was there, of course. I didn't expect a place that was rented out to have many of the chemicals that were there. It wasn't my home, and it happened within a minute of walking into the door. So, I've been on guard since then. I'm not interested in cleaning up poop like I did in the days that followed our first day with our children. And, obviously, if they will drink that, what else will they put into their bodies. Although, we've had many lessons since then, and I think they know better now. But, I will not test that thought for their own safety.
The last time we visited my parents, my five from Ukraine were a bit unsettled, but I had coached them during the drive there and during our visit. I constantly had to watch them. I can't explain the way they get, but it's just a restlessness. There's nothing particularly "bad" about the behavior, but for me, I know when it starts. I can feel it, and I know it shows that something is unsettled within them. I can feel the lack of peace. This time, I did the same. I coached them on the way there and as they walked out of the van how to behave, how to have peace (one of the fruits of the spirit we have been learning about). Only I found that while we were visiting this time, I got to sit back. I got to relax and even take my eyes off of them. OH - did I just say that? I got to take my EYES off them for a moment! They didn't try to sneak and rummage through anything. They were content as can be playing with all of their grandparent's toys. Dare I say it - they were peaceful! I mean, our 5 who came home from Ukraine just 6 months ago had an eventful day with no nap and even went to my parent's home with such excitement yet remained peaceful, content, and even at ease.
I've not shared this much at all, but when we had first gotten our 5 out of the orphanage and were still in Ukraine, they would make terrible fun of those on the streets, those who had ailments or were elderly. They would laugh and point and say such crude things. I would look at them in disapproval and remind them to be loving. As I learned more Russian and they learned a little about Jesus, they would ask me how they can love Jesus as He loves them. Their culture was to give something to Him. I would tell them to love those at whom they felt the urge to laugh or point. When we'd go out, while still in Ukraine, I could tell that they got better and better at not pointing. Still, the urge was there...until the end of our trip. We were heading out to get some food to bring back to the apartment, and there sat a man in a wheelchair. He had the strong smell of alcohol, was missing several limbs, and had an unkempt appearance. He bowed his head and stuck out his cup to us. We didn't have anything to give, as our adoption had cost us everything. I did have a gentle look and a smile to offer, and I so desired for him to look at me. I said what I thought was a silly little prayer for him to look up, and he did. I took the moment to say hello and smile at him. I didn't notice, but my children were watching. And in that moment, I saw their first act of love and service. I said, "Love," in Russian to them, reminding them what Jesus wants as a gift. They repeated it back, looked at the man and smiled warmly, then patted his knee one by one. It's what we had to give, and I believe it was worth more than that entire day's worth of donations.
My parents take care of an elderly woman. I admit that I was nervous today about how they would treat her. They had lots of questions, which were innocent. There was no hint of laughter in their eyes, and without my reminder, they each showed genuine interest in her and her well-being. Out of habit and fear of what they may do, I reminded them to love. They said, "Oh, yes, Momma. But how can we talk to her if she doesn't talk back." I told them to just talk, introduce themselves, as she can still listen. One child looked at me and said, "Momma, when we are all grown and you are old, we will talk to you. We will come and feed you, and even if you can't talk, we will come talk to you so you can listen."
When it was time to clean up, they did so, got a drink, gave hugs and kisses, and didn't forget their elderly friend in the kitchen. Hannah patted her on the back and said, "Bye bye!" then headed out the door to get in the van and head home. Now, all 9 of my babies are tucked into bed, and I wish I could explain the depth of their growth to them. Only 5 came from an orphanage just months ago, but our 4 children have played such a majorly helpful role in helping our 5 grow into more peaceful and loving people. And, our Ukrainian born children have helped our American born children grow in areas as well. Abi is more carefree and playful rather than so mothering and mature, Lili is more confident, Jadon is much more playful now that he has brothers to play cars and airplanes with, and Elisa has dropped the fits and tantrums for a fun sassiness and maintains eye contact 100% better than she did just months ago. People often see the progress that our Ukrainian children are making, but all 9 are so much better off than they were just 6 months ago. It's amazing!
Not a day goes by before all of our crew discusses (both in private, during their play time, and during their talks with me) their plans for when baby comes this summer. What plans? Oh, they eagerly tell me that they would like to visit an orphanage. I tell them that we likely won't be going to Ukraine any time soon, but not to worry, as there are orphanages and orphans all over the world. They ask me where we will go, and one sister pitches in that she'd like to go to a place with coloring more like hers this time. Everyone agrees that this is the best decision and the discussion continues with how God will show us which child belongs to our family from that orphanage. One will say, "Just how God knows who my prince will be, He knows who will be our next brother or sister." And, I must say, I agree. Such sweet discussions of our baby on the way, our children to come, and the Princes that will one day ask for our daughters' hands in marriage. What blessings!
Side note: There have been no discussions of our boys marrying. E looks absolutely surprised that he will ever get married. It's foreign to him. JJ doesn't give it much thought either. But Jon assures me he will not forget to come see Momma and have Momma cook for him when he gets married and moves away. Future wife of Jon - you have been warned.